The cycle of abuse is a common thread in all relationships that endure domestic violence or intimate partner abuse. Cycles of abuse are patterns of behavior that an abuser and his or her victim engage in between incidents of abuse. Domestic violence involves emotional, financial, and physical abuse, but the cycle of abuse primarily deals with physical abuse. The cycle has three distinct phases: the tension building phase, the violent episode, and the honeymoon phase.

Emotional abuse and physical abuse usually begin with the tension-building phase in the cycle of violence. In this phase, tension between the abuser and his or her partner or family members increases, causing them to experience high levels of anxiety, fear, and the anticipation of a violent episode. The tension-building phase often begins as a result of stress concerning finances, the couple’s children, trust issues, or any other family problem. During this time, some victims try to appease their partners or other family members by claiming responsibility for behavior that isn’t their fault or by diverting attention from the problem. The violent episode usually takes place when the tension peaks.

The battering incident occurs after the tension-building phase escalates and the abuser attacks the intimate partner or other family member. These episodes are unpredictable and may be ignited by just about anything. A battering incident usually ends only when the person inflicting the abuse stops it. Contrary to common beliefs, this episode is not incited by an act of the victim. That person usually has little to do with it. The catalyst is typically an external or internal problem of the abuser. Of course, cases do exist where a victim or other family member might provoke his or her intimate partner. Unfortunately, the reason for the instigation is that the victim sees the abuse as inevitable and wants to get it over with to move into the honeymoon phase.

This last phase in the cycle of abuse is where all tension is released and the couple or family bonds are strengthened. During the honeymoon phase, the abuser displays acts of love, possibly showering the victim with gifts, affection, and assurances that such abuse will never happen again. The abuser and the victim equally want to believe the abuse is truly over. Because a batterer may display such intense grief and devotion, many victims of domestic violence stay in the abusive relationships.

The cycle of abuse produces a psychological condition known as battered person’s syndrome or BPS. Any victim who has experienced cycles of abuse at least twice may be diagnosed with the disorder. BPS may be used as a defense for the victim if he or she fights back, or used against a defendant in a domestic violence trial if the victim recants or declines to cooperate with the prosecution.

In many situations, the cycle of violence will only stop if the relationship ends. The State of California has developed an abundance of resources intended to assist victims of domestic abuse in leaving their abusers and living violence free lives. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) is a great resource to learn more about the signs and symptoms of domestic violence or to seek referrals for counseling, classes, or other programs. Another important action to take is obtaining a seasoned criminal defense attorney who can help with this delicate and complicated area of law. Lawyers at the Kavinoky Firm have been trained in California D.V. laws and can help with all aspects of an intimate partner abuse charge. They have numerous resources and understand the challenges that the family faces. Contacting the Kavinoky firm is a great step in ending the cycle of abuse.